No longer able to bear the sole responsibility of everything that is wrong in the world of a 14 year old adoloscent girl, not to mention wrong with the size of her bedroom, I informed my daughter in no uncertain terms that there are many children in the world who would be very happy to have a bedroom like hers.
Hours later, I am still shuddering from the sheer power of having said it and meant it, and thus having put a stop to all complaints on the subject.
Now... if only I could translate that power, that integrity, into other aspects of my life... (who am I kidding... we're really only worried about me in relationship to men).
If only I could say to myself (and mean it) ''screw the idiot if he doesn't call me back. There are plenty of men in the world who would."
Maintaining my integrity with THAT statement would happen in a parallel universe.
In this universe, if someone doesn't call me back, I call them again. (Please save me the humiliation of actually writing it and imagine which word should repeat itself in the previous sentence).
But maybe I have learned something from tonight's showdown over my ability to defend the inherent quality of my daughter's bedroom.
There is an inherent quality to me, too, that I can defend, and with integrity. In this world, there are plenty of men who would be very happy to have someone like me.
I haven't found them yet, but I don't need to find them all. One will be enough.