About Me

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Haifa, Israel
Divorced and independent and still looking for Mr. Right in the back of the fridge.

Friday, March 13, 2015

At Least I Never Changed My Status on Facebook


I am so pissed at Hollywood. 

Apparently, a sad ex-lover never shows up at your door dissheveled and morose.
His friends don't call you to tell you he is a broken man.
And you don't get a do-over.  

After a reasonable amount of wallowing, I (YET AGAIN (wtf)) pulled myself up and brushed myself off. 

No world catastrophes when I took him off Speed Dial, although the weather did suddenly get super stormy.

Despite my last entry, I still hadn't added him to my emergency numbers. 
I must have sensed already that "Call in Case of Emergency" will be perpetually relegated to my children and first ex-husband. 

I suspect that somewhere deep inside, my equilibrium is set to status Single because I never changed my status on Facebook.

Imagine the quantum physics of a changed Facebook status back to single. 

  • The tide might never ebb.
  • The Salmon might stay downstream.
  • Cumulonimbus clouds might never dissipate.
  • Candian Geese might Winter in Buffalo.
  • Vesuvius might bury Pompeii.
I am already responsibile for two wars in the Middle East which coincided with my divorces. I don't think I could handle any more responsibility.

So, for now, there you have it. This blog is not obsolete yet. 

Sunday, December 14, 2014

He Always Has Ice Cream.


Five months and I have upgraded him from "Favorites" to "Speed Dial". 
Next month I'll add him to my emergency numbers. 
After all, I'm trying to take things slowly....

Yet all of the signs are there:

I let him drive.
I make him soup.
I warm my feet on him and give him the good pillow.

He brings me mellons and car freshener.
He puts together my Ikea furniture.
He always has ice cream. 
He thinks I'm funny and is duly impressed that I can drive a stick. 

He is kind and considerate, intuitive and attentive, and he ALMOST always knows the right thing to say... 
(No, when I show you a picture of me with my 2 sisters and ask who is the prettiest, Deborah is NOT the right answer...)

He is my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night.

I am grateful every day that he is a part of my life.

Don't tell anyone because I don't want to jinx it, but I am really happy.


Friday, May 2, 2014

"We've Got To Move this Refrigerator, We've Got to Move this Color TV"


I have done it again. Love evades me so I bought a flat screen TV. 

Last time I did it, it was instead of ice cream. This time the cache is full of the new summer flavors. 

As if it weren't enough that I feel heartbroken, I hate myself for my obvious and trite methods of consoling myself. Ice cream (obvious), shopping spree (trite).

I do however stand out from the lonely hearts crowd by going big when I need comfort. I buy major appliances. 

  • The one that got away warranted a garbage disposal.
  • The one that stood me up won me a small flat screen TV.
  • The date from purgatory replaced my dryer.
  • And now the misbegotten affection has hit the jackpot with the large flat screen TV, in front of which I will deplete the above mentioned cache while watching all seasons of Project Runway and imagine that it is I who gets Tim's hug of doom before being sent to clean up my space.
Suddenly the expression "Go big or go home" seems ironic. I have found the way to go big AND go home. 

Maybe I'm not that trite after all.