About Me

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Haifa, Israel
Divorced and independent and still looking for Mr. Right in the back of the fridge.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Non-Caloric Solutions to a Bad Day

I got stood up today so I bought a flat screen TV.
This in lieu of ice cream during a strict diet that I am actually sticking to. 

Ice cream is cheaper than a flat screen but the purpose is the same. Make me feel better when someone else makes me feel like crap. 

Please no comments that I shouldn't let someone else make me feel bad about myself. Let's maintain some proportion. It's not an overall self esteem issue. Just a short lived self pitying wallowing. The ice cream effects my hips and the TV my wallet, but I can provide a dozen proofs that I deserve them both. 

I look in the mirror and I say, "who is this stunning lady and why does she get stood up?" Again, a dozen reasons why I don't mind being free and independent but when push comes to shove, I'd rather not be alone. 

I wish I could say that I am going home now with Ben and Jerry to watch my flat screen TV, but I am going to buy lettuce. I have also been ordered to stock the mess hall with enough snacks for 12 teenagers who are marching into  my  living room to rendezvous with that 15 year old girl/woman/hormonal terror with braces that lurks in my house because I'm her mother.  

Why do i feel like I'm losing a war of attrition on all fronts? It's OK. For now I'll wallow. After the weekend, the generals in my head and heart will regroup and set out with new marching orders.

Hope I don't come back with a purple heart. 

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Supersize Me


Lots of adventures in the last month. 

"Adventures" might be overstating it, lets settle on challenges:

Challenges to keep my wits.
Challenges to keep my dignity.
Challenges to hold my tongue.
Challenges to not beat someone about the head and thorax mercilessly. 
Challenges to not bake and eat cheese cake.

Successes: I didn't beat anyone about the head and thorax mercilessly. 

I had a few dates. I paid. And when I didn't pay we had a lovely walk on the beach. 
Spare me. 
I want someone to wine and dine me. Not whine and supersize me. 
So not generous of me. So 1950's of me. Lots of things to do that don't cost money. But, crap. I do them all myself already.

I am trying hard not discount someone because I don't like the cuff on their jeans. But  6 inches? Really?

Is it so out of the question to want someone that makes my heart skip a beat, at least at the beginning? Someone who takes my breath away, even if just for a second? Someone who pays on the first date, even if it is old fashoned? 

I could be in a long phase, and eventually I'll get over it and settle for the next best thing.

Until then, I'll keep dreaming.