Morning

Morning. My eyes are not open yet. I am in that familiar space of "oof, I can't believe I didn't close the shades last night." My eastern facing bedroom has once again betrayed me on a Saturday morning. 

I stay still, hoping that if I don't move, the birds will stop their obnoxious chirping. 

Eyes still shut, I ooze into semi-consciousness. 

I tally the situation: No dog on my bed + no noise from the living room equals alone again on Shabbat. 

I hear distant thunder. Rain at the end of April is unheard of here, but to me the thunder is  like the voice of the governor offering me a stay of execution. I have the perfect excuse to guiltlessly stay in bed. 

 Eyes still shut. Still not moving. And then it starts.... The voice of my evil twin disturbs the potential calm.  "Big deal. Another Shabbat with no plans and no fun reason to stay in bed. Face it. You are the only spoon in this drawer." 

My evil twin does her routine head check of who is not next to me, who didn't call me, who "ruined my life". 

But today I don't listen. Maybe time really does heal all wounds, or maybe the meds have kicked in. Either way, being alone on a Shabbat, again, is more welcome than usual. 

I will watch a few episodes of whatever, drink an extra cup of coffee, and go for a swim.

I will check out the wireless connections in a new cafe, while hoping against all hope that the cute waiter didn't notice that I have no less than 5 dating sites open on my laptop. 

I will call my kids, as I count my blessings. 

Eyes still closed. I listen to the birds chirping so sweetly.... Just give me one more hour...