I use the word abyss alot when describing parts of my life. Surely not in my happiest moments, but nonetheless...
In the course of facing that vast emptiness that I have referred to from time to time, however, I have managed to harness a certain creativity that lingered nebulously in that space.
In that process, I have understood just a touch better why memorable songs are so depressing, why the most beautiful paintings so tortured and why the best humor so bittersweet.
But what will happen if the abyss becomes less abysmal, if uncertainty changes to hope and if the glass is half full? Will I run out of things to ponder? Will I become different than who I am today? Will I be too happy to need to soul search online?
Today (and I mean literally TODAY, Tuesday, not TODAY as in this day and age) the abyss is less like a free-fall and more like a holding pattern. A manageable limbo. And this, despite receiving a phone call from the source of my recent angst (yeah me!).
Spring is in the air and maybe, just for today, my life is not a Burt Bacharach song, or a Bergman movie, or drawn in sepia tones.
I don't know what is waiting for me around the bend on the proverbial path of life, but as long as I still get butterflies from the journey itself, I figure I'm still in the game.