About Me

My photo
Haifa, Israel
Divorced and independent and still looking for Mr. Right in the back of the fridge.

Friday, May 2, 2014

"We've Got To Move this Refrigerator, We've Got to Move this Color TV"


I have done it again. Love evades me so I bought a flat screen TV. 

Last time I did it, it was instead of ice cream. This time the cache is full of the new summer flavors. 

As if it weren't enough that I feel heartbroken, I hate myself for my obvious and trite methods of consoling myself. Ice cream (obvious), shopping spree (trite).

I do however stand out from the lonely hearts crowd by going big when I need comfort. I buy major appliances. 

  • The one that got away warranted a garbage disposal.
  • The one that stood me up won me a small flat screen TV.
  • The date from purgatory replaced my dryer.
  • And now the misbegotten affection has hit the jackpot with the large flat screen TV, in front of which I will deplete the above mentioned cache while watching all seasons of Project Runway and imagine that it is I who gets Tim's hug of doom before being sent to clean up my space.
Suddenly the expression "Go big or go home" seems ironic. I have found the way to go big AND go home. 

Maybe I'm not that trite after all. 


  1. I foresee a lucrative franchise of Miss Lonelyheart's Appliance Repair, which is how you will meet The (Next and Final) One and love happily ever after.

  2. Perhaps the Maytag repairman has been waiting for me