Smile Smile Smile.

......................

I should never be left alone with a computer when I'm feeling lonely. I will join another dating site.

I am always sure that this new site will be my saving grace. That among the tree-hugging masseurs, middle aged cradle robbers and 30 year olds that think they can teach me something, I may find myself starring in a Romantic Comedy. I will find the one who will have made it worth the wait. 

As time goes by, I realize that chances are I won't find him on this new site or any other. Chances are I may never find him. Chances are I may kiss a lot of frogs and none of them will turn into princes. 

I've been told that if I smile a lot the universe will smile on me. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. But for goodness sake. Sometimes I just don't have a smile in me. 

Can't the universe start the smiling? I promise to smile back under the right circumstances. 

...................................

Count Backward from Ten

....................

I'm back. I wasn't really gone. Just totally distracted with a zillion thought bytes as well as undergoing minor surgery AND not being able to drive for two months.

PLEASE do not ask me to give details about my life without driving. I am doing a fair job of not pulling my hair out by the roots, not pummeling civil servants about the head and chest, and not engaging in scathing diatribes against the passengers on public transportation for their intrusion on my personal space.

After all, public transportation is the reason that personal space was invented.  

The minor surgery went well. I am desperately trying to relive that experience when, within the course of a split second I am looking around the O.R. and then "poof", I am waking up in recovery. 

I would like to believe that my shameless flirting with the anasthesiologist was not the reason they blacked me out. Regardless, I would love to attach myself to an I.V. drip with that stuff during my next bad date.  

It's just as well they blacked me out. Gynecological surgery is never an event that makes a gal feel pretty. 

Speaking of pretty, I got my hair done, had other hair removed, and generally, have been all dressed up with no place to go. 

I am distracted from this sad state of my love life by my pet projects, this blog being one of them. However, the wheels are churning much too fast in this little head of mine, and more often than not, I get nothing done rather than a lot done. I managed to slow down the thoughts and sift through them one by one. 

Here are some of my conclusions:

• I will not feel bad that I don't write in my blog as often as I used to. Twice a month will be fine. And anyway, you wouldn't want me un-inspired, would you?
• I don't expect to have a date every week. I will, instead, be grateful if a week goes by and I am not called an uppity, ugly bitch just because I didn't want to go out with someone. 
•  I have decided that it is NOT OK if my online shop stays in the hobby realm. I need it to move into the earning realm. 

Most importantly, sometimes I find the wherewithal to remember that even if I never find my partner for life, I have 3 children who, while not calling as often as they should while I sit in the dark, are still pretty wonderful. And for that I am blessed. 

Just a Silly Love Song

_______________


Just when I thought I had until February 14th to avoid holidays meant for lovers, they hit me with the Israeli response to cherubs shooting arrows,  Tu B'Av, the 15th of the Hebrew month of Av. 


Apparently,  in post-Biblical times, this particular full moon heralded  the occasion for women to dress in white and prance in vineyards, so they could be chosen as wives. 


The radio has been playing love songs all day. 


I was OK as they played a sexy Samba. 


I was even OK when they played The Girl rom Ipanema. The muse of that song is 67 year old now. 


Oh, but then they played It's Too Good to be True and I turned off the radio. 


Most of the time I don't think too much about it. I sleep sprawled on the bed and I get to hold the remote. 


The rest of the time, I'd give up all the advantages of being alone in a heartbeat, just to have someone who will make my heart skip a beat. 


Who knows. Maybe by February 14th the cherubs will find their way to Haifa and I'll have plans for dinner and the Samba. 


_________________________________