Tea and Sympathy

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I'm headed already for a life filled with cats. Lots and lots of cats. 


Everyone was passing me on the highway, and I'm fairly certain I had my left blinker on for about 7 kilometers. 


Where are the days when I burned the candle at both ends? When did I start running home to comfy pjs and TV?

What happened that instead of making sure my clothes go from work to play with casual ease, I'm just grateful that I didn't drip any soup on my bosom?


When did I start listening to the drive-time ads for protected living?  

Why is it that the day a glass lid slipped through my fingers and shattered on the kitchen floor, I cried for my pot?

What is it about my demographic that I am inundated with ads for teeth implants?

Am I in that netherworld between too old for the young ones and too young for the old ones? Are all the ones my age married or gay?


Eventually I'll get it figured out. For now, pardon me while I wallow.

Is This Seat Taken?

I dont remember the last time I could sit alone at a table without someone taking my chairs. 


What is about me that cries out - "There is no way in hell that this woman will have anyone eventually sitting next to her. Let's take her chairs, one by one, so that no matter how small the table, it will be extra obvious that she is alone, and we can add salt to the wound that is her life of going solo to venues that everyone else goes in pairs." 


I feel like that Frasier episode. The one where he insists he can go to a fancy restaurant on his own without embarrasment. He eventually ends up BEGGING to sit with a family he doesn't know. 


Here is my take on flying solo at different establishments:

• Cafe's are welcoming during the day. Night is a little borderline.
• By day they provide free newspapers, as if to say, "we know you are just stopping by to kill some time in between your daily tasks. Here. Take this newspaper and look busy, no one will care."
• By night, the owner still nods hello and makes you feel welcome, but the newspapers are gone and you are on your own to keep yourself entertained. 
• Restaurants are a borderline experience on your own day and night. The tables are bigger, and they don't have wireless. 
• Pubs with food by day are probably OK. 
• By day, I haven't gone in one on my own. What's the point during daylight if they don't serve coffee?
• I once went into a pub in the evening by myself because they had a nice porch and I wanted to sit outside. Lest you think I'm a role model to all single women, keep in mind that of miles of pubs in my area, I chose the one closest to the turn off to my neighborhood and spoke English the whole time so that they would think I was a tourist. It could take me some time to get out my comfort zone on this one. 
• Bars on  your own, day or night, are just too Looking for Mr. Goodbar Let's not go down that road.

I have a hunch I'll have a lot more to say on this subject. 

For the time being, when a tall, handsome man asks, "is this seat taken?" I just grin and bear it as he carries it off to his party of 6. 

Maybe one day soon, when I least expect it, "is this seat taken?" will be followed by "mind if I join you?" and my life will change forever. 

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Free Hugs

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I take my hugs as I can come by them.

For lack of two strong arms to whisk me away to the land of never ending happiness, and for lack of the brilliant Japanese invention, The Boyfriend Pillow, I am overwhelmed at how a few kind words in my direction are enough to bring me to tears. 


This would lead me to believe that either I'm totally pathetic, or that at some point, my uber-woman alter ego laid down for a nap.


These are the thoughts that run through my head sometimes:


Blanche: "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."
John and Paul: "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." 

So is it a bit over the top that I get choked up over the daily scenarios that make up my life - 

• being fit in at 6 pm for a two hour highlight and hair cut appointment - and greeted  with enthusiasm and a can of diet coke at my arrival;
• finding a place for new tires where I'm reassured that I can call any time of day or night if I get a flat;
• knowing that I can go to my girlfriends and they will feed me, day or night.
• going to the same doctor for 20 years, who will ignore a room of waiting patients to let me whine non-stop that I need a boyfriend;
• being greeted by name in the work cafeteria that feeds hundreds.  (I'm also greeted by name by the ones who take out my trash... I'm not convinced that's a compliment).

That's really just a stupid little partial list, but you get the point. The point that I get choked up at the drop of a hat, at the first sign of kindness in my direction. This isn't my favorite part of me but I am learning to embrace it.


And not to belittle the joys of being greeted by a poodle with my dirty underwear in its mouth, maybe one day, after a long day at work,  I will be greeted by a smile from my special someone, who will have made me a salad and bring it to me while I sprawl on the sofa. 


Perhaps it is a response to the parade of jack asses and users throughout my life, perhaps it is just a response to moving to a new city and feeling at home. What's certain is that I take my hugs where I can get them, and feel blessed every day to have them coming from so many directions. 


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